My Own Super Hero - Bill

Hi, I’m Judith Ashley, author of The Sacred Women’s Circle series, soul nourishing romantic women’s fiction that honors pagan spiritual practices. My stories show you what life could be like if you had a place like The Circle where you are unconditionally accepted, supported and loved. And where, with this support, you do overcome obstacles and find your happily-ever-after.

OMG, my list is long in part because I’ve lived a long life and in part because over the years I’ve known people I love and admire.

While there are people from the history books that I see as heroes and heroines, in my own life I’ve people I’ve put on this list. However, to include them here makes this post over 1000 words long! So, I’m moving them to a New Document and will write about them on my personal blog sometime this month or next.

However, there is one person who has made a profound impression on how I live my daily life.

Who might my Superhero be?

Dr. William Glasser. In the 1960’s Dr. Glasser was faced with ridicule and disdain from his fellow psychiatrists because he rewrote what the relationship between a psychiatrist and patient could be. It did not include spending years talking about the past. Bill did not believe that revisiting the past was useful in solving today’s issue unless there was a direct relationship to the present problem. He said that if you missed dinner you can't eat last night's dinner tonight. All you can do is eat tonight's dinner.

Bill believed in empowering his patients by teaching them a process so that they had a framework to solve their own problems. He called it "Reality Therapy." Now it is called "The Procedures That Lead To Change." Don't be fooled by the titles! If you've heard of or learned Motivational Interviewing or Client Centered Counseling, you've heard of or learned about Bill's ideas from the 1960's.

He also believed, taught and wrote about the harm psycho-tropic drugs have on people long before the acknowledged crisis of prescription drug addiction. Of course he was vilified by big pharma.

Through it all, he held to his principles, to what he saw working as his patients changed and moved forward with their lives.

Although I heard Dr. Glasser in the late sixties, it wasn’t until August 1978 that I began formal training in his concepts.

I was privileged to bear witness to Bill’s continual learning and the evolution of his concept known as Choice Theory, an explanation of how and why we make the choices we do. Because of my experiences in learning directly from Bill Glasser and my own internalization and application of these concepts in my own life, I’ve been able to overcome life challenges that could have knocked me down.

And actually I have been knocked. The saying “down but not out” may be true but if you know these fundamental Glasser Concept ideas you will get back up.

1.     We have 5 Basic Needs that are genetic to us and determine what we individually value above all else in our lives.

2.     Each of those Needs is represented by hundreds if not thousands of life experiences.

3.     Every minute of our day, we strive to replicate or create new highly valued experiences which means we are in control of our lives.

4.     Life happens and how we’ve successfully lived may not work right now or maybe even “any more” which is why we decide to make different choices.

5.     When we understand our Basic Needs profile, we have the Power to focus on a different choice so that we are more likely to succeed. You can learn more about creating a personal problem solving plan here.

In 2004 when I lost some of my cognitive functioning, I was terrified. OMG!!! What was I going to do? I couldn’t drive, could barely be a passenger in a vehicle going over 25 mph; couldn’t be in a busy, noisy place or see the wind making the tree leaves dance. All of that visual and auditory noise literally had me on my knees.

I won’t lie and say I wasn’t afraid aka terrified! However, I did know how to change how I emotionally felt, how to curb the terror. Simple is not always easy. I had to accept total responsibility for how I felt about what was happening in my life in order to be able to feel differently.

The first step was to focus on what I could do that also brought me joy. Was it easy? Actually the focusing on what I could do that also brought me joy was surprisingly easy. However, knowing my Needs Profile was key for me maintaining a positive attitude through months of physical therapy.

Was the road smooth? How I wish. What was and is true is I had a process that I knew worked so at those times when I slipped into the dark hole of “what if I don’t get better,” I knew what to do to move back into the light.

As you know I write books about women facing real life problems who, with the support of their sacred women’s circle, are able to move forward in their lives and find their happily-ever-after. The teaching of Bill Glasser are in each book and are a critical component of my characters’ ability to find a new path. You see in each story how powerful it is when we choose to be part of our solution.

I also write non-fiction based on Choice Theory and The Procedures That Lead to Change. Staying Sane in a Crazy World outlines the power of understanding our Needs Profile and The Procedures That Lead to Change. Readers are provided with a process to determine what they want to change and a format to make a successful plan to do so.

All of my books are available at your favorite e-book vendor. Be sure to ask your local library if you’d prefer to read my books through that resource.

Learn more about Judith's The Sacred Women’s Circle series at JudithAshleyRomance.com

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© 2019 Judith Ashley