Real Life Makes Scary Scenes

Hi, I’m Judith Ashley, author of The Sacred Women’s Circle series, soul nourishing romantic women’s fiction that honors pagan spiritual practices. My stories show you what life could be like if you had a place like The Circle where you are unconditionally accepted, supported and loved. And where, with this support, you do overcome obstacles and find your happily-ever-after.

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Scariest scene I’ve written?

I’ve actually written more than one scary-to-me scene. Each was difficult for me to write because they were based on my real life experiences. Thus, writing them brought back intense memories complete with flashbacks and more than a few nightmares.

While writing the scene in Sophia where she is followed up a dark trail by a man threatening sexual assault that was not the scariest because neither Sophia nor I were physically hurt. She however met “The One” while I just got safely to my car, locked the doors and drove off to write my report.

Scarier were the domestic violence scenes in Lily and Diana. As noted, I escaped the assault portrayed in Sophia but not domestic violence. And while my personal experiences were not exactly like Lily and Diana’s there was enough of my own reality in them to create anxiety and sleepless as I was writing those scenes.

The scariest chapter I wrote is also based on personal experiences. Names changed but actions not. I did have a client threaten to kill me with a knife when I took her children into protective custody. Later her court appointed attorney warned me to be vigilant and careful, never to doubt that if she saw me and she was in her car, she’d run me down.

No wonder then when roughly twenty years later, she found my phone number and began calling me, leaving threats. The old fears roared back. Once again I had nightmares and even hyper-vigilant.

I relived it all in writing about Lily’s experience, a mirror of my own. And the work she did? The resentment she felt? The routine she created to calm her anxiety? I did and felt it all. Perhaps not as intensely as when I was originally living it, but the emotions were strong enough that I had those flashbacks, woke up at night, went through the same routine I initially created. Check all doors and windows to confirm for the second, third or even fourth time that they were locked. Check that the fire extinguisher was next to my bed within easy reach.

What I did not do is change my phone number or practice moving my dresser in front of the stairs. Nor did I have to mentally prepare myself for being stabbed if she got into my house.

Never did I doubt that she would do her very best to kill me or my son or our dog, if she had a chance. Her rage had festered for well over twenty years. And it made no difference that her children were grown and had made lives for themselves including marriages built on love and trust. So when the oldest child told me her mother had died, I felt a profound sense of relief.

Why did I and do I include situations such as domestic violence, rape and child abuse in my stories? Because I write about the issues women encounter in real life. It was a revelation for me when I learned I was not alone. Those traumatic events that have a devastating and disastrous effect on previously normal lives are happening hundreds if not thousands of times a day around the world.

However that is only a small piece of why I write these stories. The most important reason is that I want women to see that while what they are feeling (hopeless, helpless, fearful, incompetent, etc.) is normal under the circumstances, there is hope.

There is something they can do.

My characters belong to a Sacred Women’s Circle where they are unconditionally accepted just as they are; unconditionally supported as they figure out how to move forward and unconditionally loved.

No one lives a life totally free from dangerous or at least unpleasant life experiences. It’s what we do with our lives afterwards that determines whether we will find peace with ourselves and in the world around us.

If you find yourself in a daunting place in your life, there are resources you can reach out to. And there are books you can read that may give you some ideas of how to move forward and escape the dangers in which you find yourself.

And I encourage you to look around and find a group of women who will join you in creating your own Sacred Women’s Circle, a place where you each are encouraged to share your hopes, dreams and nightmares. Where you will always be accepted, supported and loved no matter what your choices. As you’ll see when you read in Diana, leaving her marriage of 20 years was not easy. She persevered with the support of The Circle and found her happily-ever-after.

May you find peace and joy in your life.

You can find all of my books at your favorite e-book vendor. Be sure to ask your local library if you’d prefer to read my books through that resource.

Learn more about Judith's The Sacred Women’s Circle series at JudithAshley.net

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© 2020 Judith Ashley