Photo by Johannes
Plenio on Unsplash
Change is such a huge topic. It is scary for some and can be transformational
for others. For most people it is some combination of the two. Change is
sometimes forced upon us by outside events—this pandemic is one of those. Other
times we initiate change because whatever is going on in our life is not how we
want it to be. In both cases, we need time to be still. Time to be cognizant of
the change, evaluate its impact, and then to take steps to adapt if we can.
I am a person who is what they call an “early adopter.” Usually that phrase is used for technology changes, but it can also be applied to other change. Early adopter means that I look for the positive in the change and I’m willing to try it out and see what makes sense to me. In technology, I’ve often tried out new software before most people. I love the idea of things being made more efficient for me. In trying out software, I also often find ways to use it that was never conceived by the developer. Where the software was developed for one purpose, I find a way to use it to solve a different problem that’s been nagging at me.
I’m willing to make larger leaps in technology because I’ve seen the usefulness of starting from scratch rather than trying to “fix” old code. Technology marches forward so quickly with new invention that one must embrace the new to make the next large jump.
In a non-technological context, I try to see change as an opportunity for learning, gaining more understanding, and sometimes for personal transformation. Even when the change involves tragedy, like the death of my brother as a child or the deaths of my father and several uncles as an adult, I’ve found a way to adapt. To move from the loss to the honoring of their lives through changes in the way I live my life to reflect the best of them.
But I’ve Struggled with Change for Two Years Now
But the last two years have provided too much change—change that was built on four years previous to that where I found the world to be unrecognizable. Politics have always been divisive. I’ve lived through the 1960s and 1970s—Civil Rights, Watergate and Vietnam. Yet, it seems even more so now that the lessons of the past are forgotten.
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| Photo by Tran Toen on Unsplash |
Floods, fires, tornadoes, hurricanes have always been a part of
the news cycle and I’ve lived in parts of the country where those are to be
expected. But it was never as large, as widespread, and consistently happening
more often than in the past two years. Furthermore, these ongoing climate
events have made me more aware of the growing economic divide between the rich,
the middle-class, and the poor.
Add the pandemic and it is too much change, even for someone like me who is normally able to move through it and learn from it. It’s not that I’m unable to get out of bed. It is that I have been unable to find a way to understand, evaluate, adapt and find ways to make my life and the life of others better. Though I’ve made a promise to step forward every month for the past six months, I haven’t been able to do that. I think about it and then retreat because I feel that central truths of my belief system, around the inherent dignity and worth of every being and the general goodness in humanity, are being proven wrong. Yet, I’m not willing or able to give them up. Instead, I’ve kept going to a place of denial instead of dealing with it. I scramble to the safety of logic and technology and that keeps me from stepping again into creativity and feeling.
An Opportunity for Transformation I Hadn’t Seen
Friends I know have been sharing with me the work of another writer—someone I didn’t know existed. His name is John Roedele. He is a comedian, a prose writer, and a poet. He publishes his work on Facebook and often reads it in videos. He is very good at observing the human condition and shares his insights by providing the impact on his own life. He has become one of those points of light in my inbox.
August 28th, he posted a short prose recap of his 47 years of life and what he’s learned. There were many brief insights, but this one really spoke to me and shined a light on this particular time in my life.
We treat grief like it’s a
summer storm
-as if it’s a temporary event
that will
quickly pass. It won’t. Grief is
a comet.
It terraforms our world.
Grief doesn’t always destroy us
- but it
changes the shape of our
continents.
–John Roedele
For me, the reason the past two years is so difficult is that the changes have come in such rapid succession, without breaks, that I see now we’ve been hit by multiple comets and each one is trying to “terraform” our world. I haven’t been able to absorb even one and look for lessons, nevertheless four or five or ten.
I’ve read articles and heard reporting on the extended grieving this pandemic has caused, but I didn’t accept it for myself. I now realize that is what has been happening to me. To take the terraforming metaphor into my heart, I have a way forward not by wholesale transformation but my incremental alterations. In effect, terraforming the human landscape.
I’ve been pummeled by the storms because I was filling the times of stillness with counting the seconds between the thunder and lightning. With some practice I’ve learned that, if I take time to dwell in those moments of stillness, I will see others there with me in the quiet. Others who still believe in the goodness and dignity of every person. Others who are quietly reaching out and building on that foundation of trust and common good, while at the same time engaging in terraforming the human landscape by altering those foundational elements that are hostile to living and working together while striving to thrive in peace.
Now I can return to writing and building those stories and characters where they also survive the storm and find a way thrive and love and scratch out a life of possibilities.
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| MAGGIE LYNCH |
9 comments:
Thank You Judith, Sarah, and all those who help run Romancing the Genres very much for giving me space this month. Knowing I had to write about change was another point of light in my inbox to help me analyze and move forward. Distilling my experience stops the constant churning of being unknowable. I really appreciate this blog!
Maggie, thank you for a beautiful and thought-filled post. I am not an early adapter when it comes to technology, however if someone I know and trust says "give it a try" that is usually enough for me to step into a new place. When it come to the rest of my world, I too have found myself struggling. I've tried to understand how people can hold the beliefs and points of view they have to no avail.
What finally "saved my sanity" was remembering my core values one of which is we are each on our own journey. I can reach out in case they are lost or foundering but it is not my place to try to change them. It took me awhile to come to the point of seeing the world through their eyes and while I understand how they got there, it isn't a place I want to be.
In the end, it is up to me to take care of myself, to live by my core values, to extend a hand and be okay when it isn't grasped/accepted. My biggest challenge is my own fear. The world, country, region, state, county, city and neighborhood I live in has fundamentally changed ... perhaps not as much as I something think and feel it has as I acknowledge we've always had discrimination and divisiveness. In this day and age of sensational 24/7 news and easy access to connect with like-minded people, the semi-safe-guards of time and space have collapsed.
It is up to each of us to find our way to the calm between the thunder and the lightning, to find our balance and gather our strengths so we can weather the next comet.
This post sums up what I've been going through also. I love the poem, I followed the link and read the whole thing. Wonderful post!!!
Hi Maggie, I enjoyed your post here. I find that facing change helps us grow in our lives and learn tolerance and to be happy and adapt to change. So, for the most part, I always look on it as a positive. By the same token, we all need to stay accountable to our core values, whatever they may be, and not allow them to get washed out to sea in the ebb and flow of the tides--political, cultural, or otherwise -- nor yet perverted into another form not in keeping with our own personal truth. Great post.
Thanks for the great post, Maggie. I hope to find the grace and vision that you have.
Thank you for an insightful and thought provoking post. I have learned not to try to make sense of change, but to embrace it and somehow find the silver lining in it. To everything there is a purpose....
Good for you, Judith, for having the courage of your convictions to live by your own core values. By the way, I value your input as an author and commentator. Joan Ramirez
Maggie, So many are trying to find their way these days. You are not alone. Good post.
Thank you all for taking the time to post and respond. Judith, you certainly hit the primary focus when you said: "we are each on our own journey." And in that journey we each must find our path toward wholeness as best we can. Core values helps us get through the storm.
Sarah, I'm so happy you followed the link to John Roedele. It was serendipity that I found his work and then spent a day reading many other poems he's written. He's bookmarked on my computer to keep tabs of future work.
Dari, I agree that change is usually positive if we frame it that way.
Marcia, from your many posts on this blog I see you as the embodiment of embracing change. I have always admired your desire to seek new experiences and take the opportunity to incorporate what you learn into your life. You seem very open to the world without letting it overwhelm you.
Joan, I agree that Judith is amazing in her understanding of her core values and in living them.
Thank you, Paty, for your acknowledgement that so many are finding their way these days. In addition to sharing my own journey, my hope was that in doing so others would feel empowered to share theirs. Perhaps not in a public blog like this but with someone they trust.
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