Eight months ago a near-death experience plowed through my Baby Boomer delusions of immortality (Don’t worry, Seventy is the new sixty! Eighty is the new seventy! Death is the new ninety!)
Being kept
alive by advanced technology, a top-notch team of medical professionals and most
of all, the Grace of God, does that to a person. To paraphrase a truth I read
in the holy writings of the Baha’I Faith, ‘We
are all but one step away from eternity.’
While waiting
for life-saving open heart surgery in the middle of the Covid-19 pandemic’s
winter surge, I had a number of days to think about how our choices define us. I
need to make some hard ones because my time on earth is limited.
Some choices are
needed to support my mental, physical and spiritual health. Some are needed to
nurture important relationships. Some are needed to revitalize my writing life.
Even before my
brush with death, I was wrestling with how to go forward with my writing career.
I got some wise guidance from Author, Writing Instructor and Publisher MaggieMcVey Lynch. I’ve written and Indie Pubbed a novel and had short stories included
in two anthologies. I like writing short stories because they are fast and fun.
I like writing novels because they are complex.
It’s become clear
to me I don’t want to spend much time on promotion (which I hate). And making
money is not the big goal for me (although it would be nice.) I do want to
reach an audience and uplift them with my stories.
I choose to concentrate
on writing short stories.
I plan to volunteer
to write grant proposals and press releases for a charity of my choosing.
What’s next? When
I feel overwhelmed by the choices I am facing, I say a little prayer and trust
my intuition.
So far, so good…
6 comments:
Welcome back! Sarah, I am so glad you are recovering your health. And you used that time wisely to make many important decisions. Enjoy your short stories and charitable work!
Personally, when I have to make a big decision, I collect as much information as I can (under the circumstances) to consider the pros and cons. Then I listen to my intuition. Somehow, it usually picks up on the most important factors to make the right decision.
Sarah,
What a thought provoking blog post!
I have been considering some of the same things as you as far as writing goes.
When faced with a hard, or maybe a life threatening decision, I read up on consequences, on studies. I talk with my husband, family and friends and get their take. on the situation if need be. I pray and then trust myself to make the right decision.
Knowledge is so important when making tough decisions.
I DO NOT like having to Make life changing decisions on the spur of the moment.
So glad you have recovered. Love your sister!
But you did survive. And you are recovering. Hooray for that. It's hard to know what to do when faced with health complications. I've had to accept that I'll be dealing with my autoimmune disease for what's left of my life. Several years ago I decided that I don't like the promotional aspects of a writing career. I was spending more money on this "career" than I had any hopes of making back. So I quit writing for money and now I write to please myself. At least I will again when I get through the brain fog that has kept me away from my book for too long. I applaud your choices, Sarah.
Sarah - so good to see you in a good place. We all worried. Making tough life decisions when under stress are so hard. But it sounds like you found a good, but at the time incredibly hard, way to deal with decision-making. It sounds like all the pieces of your thoughts and fears and laying out options fell into place as you worked through such a stressful situation.
I'm a list maker - pros and cons. But when it comes to having to make decisions, I have to tell myself, I can't do it all. ID what is most important to work on and let go of the guilt of not being able to do it all. I guess it is a bit of stepping back and trying to look at my life from afar, versus in the middle of a bad or hard situation. And then prioritizing that list, even if there is the potential of not getting things completed. Giving yourself permission to take it one day at a time and do what is best for you.
When I was recovering from breast cancer surgery, it was hard to concentrate on anything. But I ached to write. So, I took notes every time I had an idea. One day, the notes turned into a scene. The next day I had another idea, so I wrote another scene. None of the scenes were written in order. Just random thoughts that turned into a pile of scenes (I think over 60). By giving myself permission to just do what I needed to do to get healthy (and that included being creative,) I wrote an entire book, and several years later, I finally put the scenes in order. And, someday, I will turn it into a book. Because being creative helped me distance myself from pain and worry. And I didn't have to prove anything to myself or anyone else - in the form of my normal goals - a finished book.
A long way of saying, I am so glad you had a way to take care of yourself first and get through a very scary time.
Very thoughtful post, Sarah. So glad you are better and making important decisions for taking care of yourself.
Thank you all for your thoughtful comments and good wishes!!!
Decision making is an individual process, but I found some similarities here and there in your answers to my question. Thank you all for taking the time to share your processes.
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