I'm Saying Yes To The Dress

Hi, I’m Judith Ashley, author of The Sacred Women’s Circle series, romantic women’s fiction that honors pagan spiritual practices that nourish the soul. My stories show you what life could be like if you had a place like The Circle where you are unconditionally accepted, supported and loved as you overcome obstacles and find your happily-ever-after.

This month the Genre-istas’ topic is “Wedding Stories.” We’ve had similar themes in the past so I’m sure I’ve already told my own “wedding story” at some point over the last 8 years.

What I don’t remember sharing with you is the role television shows such as “Say Yes To The Dress” “This Old House” “House Hunters” and other programs on the Discovery, HGTV and PBS channels have played in my writing.

Perhaps because I eloped wearing my navy blue Easter Sunday suit, it’s been important to me to include a wedding scene usually at the end of the book (not true for Hunter and Visions of Happiness). But I digress.

There were literally years when I watched most of the home improvement and extreme homes shows as well as SYTTD. My friends would shake their heads in dismay. What was it about these (to them) worthless reality t.v. shows that drew me? I’d cock my head to one side and shrug my shoulders, a lopsided twist to my mouth. “I like them?”

When I started writing The Sacred Women’s Circle series, those years of watching “worthless reality t.v.” came in handy. I knew a lot about Lily as there are parallels with my own life. However to write the hero's story, those hours of sitting in front of my television were invaluable because Jackson Montgomery turned out to be an inventive sought-after architect.

The same is true for “Say Yes To The Dress.” Ball gown, Mermaid style, fit and flare, the amount of bling, see-through bodices, plunging neck lines and bare backs…before I watched SYTTD, I had a very traditional view of what a wedding dress would (should) look like.

I will admit that many of the programs that used to fascinate me no longer hold me in the same thrall. Why? Because it seems that the producers of programs like SYTTD and HH’s believe that the more obnoxious, demanding, rude, etc. the bride-to-be or her entourage or the house hunter/remodeler are the better.

While I’ve never flipped a house, I have had extensive remodeling done on my own. And I have been involved in numerous projects that have a promised completion date.

If every project had me up doing the “all-nighter” so it would be perfect for the client, I’d probably have slit my throat – I know that’s a bit dramatic but really – these professionals can’t figure out how to estimate what needs to be done in such a way that they do a quality job and still get some sleep?

If you find yourself binge watching certain programs, especially if you are or are considering the life of an author, ask yourself how you can use the experience in your writing or to learn and grow in your own life. And if you already do so, what programs or movies or books or music do you find inspire your stories and your life?

Learn more about Judith's The Sacred Women’s Circle series at JudithAshleyRomance.com

Follow Judith on Twitter: JudithAshley19

Check out Judith’s Windtree Press author page.

You can also find Judith on FB! 

© 2019 Judith Ashley

Beauty All Around Me

I’m Judith Ashley, author of The Sacred Women’s Circle series, romantic fiction that honors spiritual traditions that nourish the soul.

Geraniums and Fuchias

The suggested topic for the Genre-istas this month is “flowers”.

Clematis

If you love flowers, you need to check out Patricia Brooks. Her Facebook page is full of her pictures of beautiful flowers. Whenever she is out she takes photographs of the beauty all around her.. Last month she was in Oregon and shared flowers she saw along the Oregon Coast.

(Pictures in this post are mine and do not hold a candle to her artistry).

I come from a family where having a flower garden was a must. My dad loved to garden and my mom had an artist’s eye for design, shapes, colors. Together they created special places to breathe in the scents while feasting eyes on the beauty. A classic design in our backyard for many years was a border of blue forget-me-nots, with white petunias and red salvia. Right now I wish I had a picture to show you!

But I don’t.

Black and Blue Salvia

Armistead Salvia

The color purple is a theme I’m using in part of my yard. I have two clematis in varying shades of it as well as two different salvias. No dwarf red for me. I’ve the medium sized “Black and Blue” and the larger “Armistad”.

Looking out my office window at pots of colorful geraniums and fuchsias are a delightful way to let my mind roam and find that perfect word. And when the rush of hummingbird wings catch my eye, I just sit and enjoy as the tiny bundle of energy flits from one fuchsia bloom to another.

Flowers, whether a picture or the real deal, are an easy way to add color and joy to our lives. While a bouquet of fresh flowers may be beyond your budget, perhaps a single bloom will fit. Adding flowers to your life can only enrich it. And, perhaps you’ll consider an unexpected gift of a single bloom to a special someone in your life.

Learn more about The Sacred Women’s Circle here.

Check out Judith’s Author Page at WindtreePress.

Follow Judith on Twitter: @judithashley19

You can find Judith on FB https://www.facebook.com/1JudithAshleyRomance1

Hunter Book Five in The Sacred Women’s Circle series is now available at all major e-retailers and through Windtree Press.

What is Your Writing Process?

By Sarah Raplee and Judith Ashley

One of the first things writers should figure out is the writing process that works best for them.

We aren’t saying don’t take workshops or read books on what works for others, only that it is important to assess whether what works for that author works for you.

An example: Judith attended Cherry Adair’s plotting workshop at the first Emerald City Writer’s Conference she ever attended. Cherry has a fantastic plotting process involving note cards, color-coordinated by character, etc. She pins these cards up on a wall in her office starting with Chapter One. In this way, she can visually see the story progress. Where her characters are in each scene, setting, etc? Cherry is a best-selling author and this process works for her – and it works for many other writers.

However, Judith’s office has two walls of windows and two walls with doors. She doesn’t have a wall to lay out her plot in the same way. In fact, Judith isn’t a plotter. She isn’t even someone who edits what she wrote the day before at the beginning of her next writing session although she did try that early on. (It took her six years to write the first book in her The Sacred Women’s Circle series because it took her that long to figure out what her writing process was!) 

Judith is what we call an ‘organic’ writer. She has a beginning and an end in mind and maybe a couple of scenes along the way when she starts out. The story just seems to flow from beginning to end. If she comes to a place where something needs research or doesn’t flow, she highlights the place, makes a note to herself on the manuscript and keeps going. Instead of six years to finish a first draft, it takes her no more than six weeks.

Sarah writes her First Draft in Four Act structure, a storytelling technique that uses specific turning points to track the story line and character arc. A writer using this approach will be more focused in her plotting than an organic writer.

It wasn’t until she was halfway through her second book that Sarah finally realized she has such a strong Internal Editor that she can’t edit AT ALL until she has written the crappy First Draft straight through. Otherwise she’ll never finish the book! Like Judith, Sarah makes notes to herself when she needs to do research, needs to add description or emotion or needs to rework something for no reason she can put her finger on later. These notes keep her Internal Editor leashed.

Part of Sarah’s writing process is that she can write anywhere. She wrote the first draft of her first novel in longhand in a hospital cafeteria while waiting for her husband to pick her up after work. Whether she is at home, in a coffee shop or motel room, or on an airplane, if Sarah has her laptop or paper and pen, the stories keep on coming!

There are as many processes as there are writers. Processes evolve as you try different things and discover what works for you. However, before you publish, you need to have enough self-knowledge to make a reasonable guess as to how long it takes you to write a book—because readers, agents and editors need to know when the next story will be available. 

Trust us, you don't want to disappoint them!

JUDITH ASHLEY

Judith Ashley is the author of The Sacred Women’s Circle series, romantic fiction that honors spiritual practices that nourish the soul. Hunter, the fifth book in the series, will be published in August, 2015.

You can learn more about her books at http://judithashleyromance.com.

Judith blogs about relationships at http://judithashley.blogspot every Monday and fills the first Friday of the month spot at http://romancingthegenres.blogspot.com

SARAH MCDERMED

Sarah Raplee is the author of half a dozen short stories and the soon-to-be-released paranormal romance Blindsight.

Learn more about Sarah at http://www.sarahraplee.com/ .

Sarah blogs the fourth Tuesday of the month at http://romancingthegenres.blogspot.com/ .

Loved By Many

This post was first published at www.JudithAshley.blogspot.com.

Dr. William Glasser's revolutionary book Reality Therapy was published fifty years ago. Many of us who studied with Dr. Glasser as well as others who are interested in his work are coming together in Las Vegas later in July to celebrate this important anniversary.

Not only was the counseling process of reality therapy taught in 1965 the first brief therapy, at the core it recognized the importance of the counselor attaining and maintaining a friendly, colleague-like relationship in the client. Today we know this approach as ‘client-centered’ therapy.

Dr. Glasser died in August 2013 but his teachings are alive and well.

In my recent book, Hunter (due out summer 2015), Logan, the daughter of the main character, Hunter Compton, runs away and gets into trouble on the streets of the fictional Fremont, Oregon. When she is found and brought off the streets, she is shaken to the core.

How could anyone still love her if they knew what had happened to her?

It starts with two people who do know what happened to her and clearly and unequivocally state they love her.

As the story progresses and she comes to see that people who have known her do not turn away from her. Whenever the darkness of despair and fear creep into her thoughts, she begins to list by name the people she knows do love her.

Having a background in child welfare as well as thirty years working in domestic and international adoption, I know how powerful the knowledge is that someone else cares about us.

Your assignment, if you choose to accept it, is to take a piece of paper and write down the first name of everyone who cares about you. Of course there are some names like family that easily go on the list, but stretch yourself.

Who else cares about you? Best friends, but they are also easy to include.

When I involved my granddaughters with this exercise, after family, we included their teachers, neighbors, doctors and classmates.

Seeing a list of names of people we believe love and care about us not only shows us how connected we are but it is a very powerful experience.

My own list would include my local pharmacy. Just yesterday in 90+ degree weather, when I picked up my prescription and a pint of vanilla ice cream, the pharmacist checked to see how close I lived offering me a cold pack to keep the ice cream from melting.

I didn't ask, it was offered.

Cynics will say, "Well, yeah, you're a customer".

Judith Ashley

However, if I'd been across the street at a major grocery chain, no one would have even asked much less made the offer.

So do yourself a favor and make the list. Add to it from time to time as you meet and get to know new people.

And, unless someone is especially nasty to you, do not cross them off. I know I've several people with whom I'm not in regular contact, but that doesn't mean I don't care about them and vice-versa.

Judith Ashley is the author of The Sacred Women's Circle series romantic fiction that honors spiritual paths that nurture the soul.

Learn more about The Sacred Women's Circle at Judith's website.

Check out Judith's author page at Windtree Press.

Love Is ...

I’m Judith Ashley, author of The Sacred Women’s Circle series, romantic fiction that honors spiritual practices that nourish the soul and celebrate the journey from relationship to romance.

Love is …?

I invite you to take a moment and finish that sentence.

What words came to you?

Were they specific to a person as in “Love is how I feel about my (name of special person here).

Or perhaps something like this?

"Love is a warm/passionate/______ feeling."

Or maybe

"Love is how I know someone is right for me."

When we first think of love, seldom do we consider the painful side of the word – unrequited love, abusive love, controlling love, hateful love.

If you've ever been in a relationship that started out to be everything you thought or hoped a loving relationship would be, only to find yourself caught up in a nightmare, your perspective about the word “love” may be forever changed. 

To find yourself in a relationship where loving words are spoken against the backdrop of painful actions is crazy-making. What is the message about love then? How do you find the connection between loving words and a slap or fist to the face? Hateful words said in the context of "I love you".

As a writer of romance, my heroines and even my heroes are acquainted with this other side of love. Part of their journey is about finding their way back, back to deserving to be loved, or back to willing to do the work to have the loving relationship they dream of.

For these characters, the feeling of being "in love" is not wrapped in warm cozy feelings. They remain suspicious. They fight physical attraction. They dance away when the feelings become too intense. Until they are convinced this is real, right and forever, they resist. Why? They want it all. 

What that “all” looks like is different for each of them.

However, there are similar elements. 

They are safe (physically, emotionally, mentally).

They are confident they are loved in return.

They are respected, listened to and are co-creators of their relationship which means they've found a way to communicate with each other..

I’d love to know what four words you’d use to describe love, so please share.

For more about “love” check out my post at Intentions and Synchronicities. 

For more information about The Sacred Women’s Circle series, check here or here.

Remember the Genre-istas are sharing thoughts, excerpts, ideas and feelings about love so stop in often to see what romance authors have to say about this most powerful four letter word.