Simple Tips To Enhance Connections With Others

 Hi, I’m Judith Ashley, author of The Sacred Women’s Circle series, soul nourishing romantic women’s fiction with light paranormal elements. My stories show you what life could be like if you had a place like The Circle where you are unconditionally accepted, supported and loved. And where, with this support, you make choices to overcome the darkest nights and choose love and light.

For many people, February is the month when they say or do something special to acknowledge the romantic relationships in their lives. For other people the romantic label isn’t important so they include other relationships. I remember Valentine’s Day when I was twelve. My dad got me a gift. I treasured that blouse for decades. In fact it might be tucked away somewhere in my house!

I also know people who do not make a big or even a small deal about Valentine’s Day. They want to show the people in their lives that they are loved, cared about.

My family and friends fall more into the latter category than the former one. We end conversations on the phone with “I love you”. I text my granddaughters with that simple message. Nothing more than that --- well, often it shows up at “Love You Lots!!!”

Why do I consciously choose to tell people I love them?

I was briefly married to a man who never said those words once we were wed and actually only said them once or maybe twice while we were dating. I realized that hearing the words mattered to me.

From my professional experiences working with at-risk youth and vulnerable elderly, I know that many of them do not believe they are loveable, at least not in a healthy way. Hearing an adult tell you they are only abusing you for your own good or because they love you and you need to learn whatever the lesson is are not healthy expressions of love much less caring.

During this month where the airwaves are full of messages about showing someone you love by purchasing whatever the product is, I offer the following as a way to show that person how important they are to you.

First, take a look at the following, what Dr. William Glasser called the Seven Deadly or Disconnecting Habits.

Criticizing
Blaming
Complaining
Nagging
Threatening
Punishing
Rewarding to Control

Really monitor your behavior and make a plan to reduce if not eliminate any or all of the above.

In the meantime, pay attention to Dr. Glasser’s  Seven Caring or Connecting Habits. When interacting with others, look for ways to increase these.

Supporting
Encouraging
Listening
Accepting
Trusting
Respecting
Negotiating differences

For more information about these ideas and how to implement them in your personal and professional life, check out The Glasser Institute for ChoiceTheory – US or The William Glasser Institute International for trainings and resources near you.

You can find all of my books at your favorite e-book vendor. Be sure to ask your local library if you’d prefer to read my books through that resource.

Learn more about Judith's The Sacred Women’s Circle series at JudithAshley.net

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