Three Things I Do Well and A Bit More

 Hi, I’m Judith Ashley, author of The Sacred Women’s Circle series, soul nourishing romantic women’s fiction with light paranormal elements. My stories show you what life could be like if you had a place like The Circle where you are unconditionally accepted, supported and loved. And where, with this support, you make choices to overcome the darkest nights of your life to choose love and light.

One might think this would be an easy-peasy topic but for someone who was raised with the message it was WRONG to toot one’s own horn, it can be a struggle. So I asked my Very Best Friend in the Whole World what she thought were three things I do well.

Well, she didn’t want to tell me three things I DO well. So instead she told me three things/traits she thinks I have in abundance.

Her list:

Loyal
    Since I consider loyalty a non-negotiable trait in my close relationships, I totally agree with her on this one.

Honest
     I vividly remember the few times I lied in my younger years. I got caught. Needless to say, the embarrassment was worse than the consequences. It just isn’t worth it. Having said that there are times when I emphasize something beyond what’s the actual fact in my life. I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve done that.

Gratitude
     I look for the best, the brightside, the upside. For the most part, I give people the benefit of the doubt. I’ve found that a Gratitude practice helps me deal with those days that are more challenging.

I don’t disagree with that list and am not surprised to Not See patience. I may not be totally lacking in that trait however I do not have anywhere near an abundance of it. In fact, right now as in today, it is in Short Supply. Does it help? No, being impatient doesn’t help nor does it speed things up. The saying “Accepting Life on Life’s Terms” is a daily challenge for me.

I have worked diligently over the decades to be able to toot my own horn so here are mine.

1.     Planning, Organizing and Implementing
Disorganization is painful especially now when a health issue or two prevents me from getting in and getting it done. The sense of accomplishment at the end of a project is a euphoric high for me.

2.     Seeing the other side of an issue
This ‘skill’, while it serves me well, also gets me into a bit of trouble at times because it is extremely easy for me to play “Devil’s Advocate” and sometimes my friends just want to vent.

3.     Regularly checking in with myself on my efforts to live by my Core Values/Beliefs.
There have been times in my life when I’m not as ‘on purpose’ with this one and it shows up in all phases of my life including a good night’s sleep. My Core Beliefs are about living a mindful life and include such things as

“We each have our own path and have the right to traverse it   without righteous interference from others.”

“There is enough ~ I have enough and always will.”

Whether it is the list my friend made or my own, when I look at one accomplishment that brings me great joy – my writing – I can see these traits and deeds in each of the stories. A Sacred Women’s Circle is founded on the traits of loyalty, honesty, abundance (enough) and acceptance (the other side of an issue) among others.

How do you organize your life?
How do you deal with difficult situations?
Where do you rely on your Core Values to see you through a tough time?

You can find my books at your favorite e-book vendor as well as through my website www.JudithAshley.net and Windtree Press. Print books are available at Jan’s Paperbacks in Beaverton, OR and Arte Soleil in Portland, OR. Get the addresses from my website. And be sure to ask your library if you’d prefer to read my books through that resource.

Learn more about Judith's The Sacred Women’s Circle series at JudithAshley.net

Check out Judith’s Windtree Press author page.

You can also find Judith on FB! 

© 2024 Judith Ashley

The Writing Journey!

 By : Linda Conrad

Hi Everyone!  Nice to be invited here.  Thanks!

        I gave a group of writers advice once that all it took to make it in this business was hard work, persistence, and a little luck.  No one wanted to hear that. Newbies want the “secret” to publishing.  But since then, I have changed my mind. Oh, it still takes lots of hard work and persistence. There is no magic secret. But I have come to the conclusion that you can make your own luck. The one thing I learned over the years is that making friends in the business: other authors whom you trust to critique you, people you meet at conferences and meetings, and many others who just make you happy that you are a writer are the real “luck” for anyone who wants to become a best seller.

            I started to write soon after my mother passed away nearly thirty years ago. She’d reminded me that I had always wanted to write and that I made up terrific stories. It took me several years to grieve and then to figure out what I wanted to write. Did I want to write non-fiction? No. Not me.  Then what about those stories?  Mysteries? Romance?  I joined a local romance writers’ group and never looked back. 

            It took several years of hard work and going to classes, conferences, and just talking to the people I met for me to come up with my first best seller.  It’s still selling around the world twenty years later, by the way.

 

With Heather Graham (QA with her on the 24th via Zoom)

            Along my road to success, I watched others and learned.  I saw writers who wrote book after book for many years before they hit the right one. I was impressed with their persistence and patience.  And I learned from it.  I also tentatively started wonderful  relationships with fellow writers, some of whom have become lifelong friends.

 

            Good writers of fiction are good listeners. They observe the world and people around them. That’s how they write characters that seem like real people.  That’s also how I made my own luck.  I listened to other authors and editors. I saw people who seemed to be “at the right place at the right time.”  But it turns out that they were at that place (or their book was there) because another author had paved the way, or suggested it, or pushed them to write the best they could.

            The other thing good writers do is learn to accept editing of their precious words. I have watched other writers suffer over that one. The story should be an author’s main concern, but how it’s told is the trick. Writing, writing, writing makes you better. But working with good critique partners and good editors can make you the best.

 

            So, I always try to thank all the people who helped and pushed me along the way.  They are invaluable.  Writing is a wonderful vocation and avocation. Writing stories can soothe your soul.  But it’s the people you meet, other writers, editors, even readers who make this the best way to spend your life.

Gratiude is an Attitude

By: Marcia King-Gamble 

www.lovemarcia.com

In an effort to be totally transparent, much of what I have written is from my November newsletter, and all of it I believe to be true. Gratitude is indeed an atitude and should not be something we only practice in November. It should be a lifestyle that prevails. 

So why is November the only month dedicated to “Thanks? ” Be that as it may,  I am using this month  to say “Thank You,” especially to those who have supported me throughout my writing career. To those wonderful, loyal readers - the ones who have bought my books, read, and  reviewed them, I owe you a great big "Thank You." 

With Thanksgiving right around the corner, being grateful is even more important especially considering  all we've been through.  If we're still standing, we should be thankful to have survived a pandemic. We have a vaccine now and many of us are  mask free. We've survived a toxic mid-term election. And for those of us who are unemployed, there are at  least jobs to be had. 

So, whether hosting friends, or traveling to see family,  remember before taking the first bite this season  to say a grateful "Thank you,"  and remember to count your blessings.

 

This brings me to a training class I recently took. The instructor began the class by reminding us to say our 5/5/20's  each day. 

What that breaks down to is repeating 5 things to be grateful for.  Then setting 5 goals for the day and doing 20 repetitions. Those could be 20 sit-ups, 20 steps, or maybe just twenty squats. Homebound? Try twenty shrugs.  

It’s so easy to think of everything that could go wrong and get caught up in negativity. We're alive, and hopefully, healthy, happy ( being a state of mind), and relatively fortunate, all things considering. None of any of this is ever guaranteed. Health being the most important. As someone once said to me, without health you have nothing. So very true. 

My wish for you this Thanksgiving, is an abundance of  food on the table, good friends and family to enjoy it with,  and a general attitude of gratitude.

Wishing you and yours a Happy Gobble, Gobble!  Be thankful that your blessings are bigger than your problems.

About Marcia King-Gamble

USA bestselling romance writer, Marcia King-Gamble originally hails from a sunny Caribbean island where the sky and ocean are the same mesmerizing shade of blue. This former travel industry executive has spent most of life in the United States. A National Bestselling author, Marcia has penned over 34 books and 8 novellas. She has contributed to Michael Fiore’s DigitalRomanceInc and served as a moderator on the now defunct eHarmony advice boards.  Having witnessed the bad, the ugly, and the not so good in relationships, she still prefers to write about happily ever after. Caring for her animal family keeps her grounded and sane.

Visit Marcia at www.lovemarcia.com or “friend” her on Facebook: http://bit.ly/1MlnrIS

Be sure to join her newsletter mailing list.

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Gratitude for Writing Groups by Lynn Lovegreen

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday because it focuses on family, food, and gratitude. What can be better than that?  I am thankful for many things in my life, including my family, my friends, and my home. Today, I’m going to write about something else I am grateful for: my writing groups.

 

I belong to several writing groups, including 49 Writers, the Alaska Writers Guild, RWA (Romance Writers of America), SCBWI (the Society of Children’s Book Writers and Illustrators), Rainbow Romance Writers, and local chapters AKRWA and SCBWI-AK. (Full disclosure: I’ve been active in RWA’s reformation toward a more inclusive writing community, and I am the President of AKRWA.) I also take advantage of programs offered by other writing groups; for example, I recently became a finalist in the Hearts Through History Romance Writers “Romance Through the Ages” contest, where I got great feedback on my chapter. (Thanks to HHRW!) 

Writing groups give many benefits to writers. They provide information about the craft and business of writing. They offer programs such as contests, webinars, and conferences. Many host critique groups, which in my experience is one of the best ways writers can enhance their writing process and improve their writing. And I am thankful for the camaraderie—I love to hang out with other people who have characters running around in their heads and understand the highs and lows of the writing life.

 

The Romance Writers of America is having a membership drive until December 21st. If you are referred by a member, you get a $25 discount for joining or rejoining. Learn more about RWA at https://www.rwa.org/referral. Let me know if you’re interested, and I can give you my membership number to give you a referral.

 

Whether you’re just starting out on your writing journey, or you’ve been on the path for years, I encourage you to create your own writing community. Find a writing group that supports you, and you’ll have much to be grateful for.

 

Happy Thanksgiving!

Free Your Mind by Kim Olver

“Sometimes you’re your own worst enemy.” 

Our minds can convince us of things that have no basis in reality. Through studying neuroscience, I’ve learned that our brains are hardwired for negativity. Should we find ourselves in life-or-death situations, this can be very helpful. But this negativity does not serve us in our relationships.

How can you stop this hardwired reflex? Well, you can’t. Your first response in a tense situation will always be to lean toward the negative response, but with practice, you can develop a secondary process of positivity, acceptance and gratitude—all things that serve us well in our romantic relationships. When we are in relationships and things aren’t going the way we’d like, the typical go-to response is negative. We either focus on the problem our partner is causing or we focus on our own shortcomings and how we are just not good enough to have a successful relationship. Both responses are examples of how our mind can hold us hostage with its negative leanings.

Add to that propensity the rules and expectations we have about relationships that we don’t always let our partner in on, and we have a disaster waiting to happen.

The first step to freeing your mind is to recognize when negativity presents itself. We get this clue from either our painful emotions of anxiety, sadness or anger, or it can also come from physical pain that doesn’t have a medical cause. These signals are early warning signs and if we attend to them productively early on, then we can free our minds. Ignoring those signs or using the emotions or pain to try to change our partner or the relationship will almost certainly keep our minds imprisoned.  

The next step is to challenge the story in your head. You must first realize it’s just a story you’re telling yourself that may or may not be true. Realize you’re making it up with an instinctual bias toward negativity, so it’s likely the narrative is a painful one. 

Once you experience that pain, ask yourself if you have any evidence for the veracity of the story. Chances are, you don’t, but in the rare event evidence exists, then investigate further. A simple example might be that you find your partner in the arms of another. This is evidence that your partner is in an embrace with another person. The story you tell yourself is probably that your partner is cheating, doesn’t love you any more or you are not good enough. The facts are that you saw your partner in an embrace with another person; the rest of the story you manufactured.

You can tell yourself a negative story or you can free your mind by telling yourself a better story. You are making it up anyway; why not create a narrative that serves you and helps you feel better? You have that power. Over time, you may discover evidence to support your original painful thought, or you will realize there was a neutral or even positive explanation for what you saw. Either way, the worst thing that happens is you spend some time in a more positive frame of mind. 

When confronted with a painful reality you can’t change, to free your mind, you need to accept it. You can’t change it, so why waste time in the mental headspace of, “It’s not fair. I know they don’t mean it. This is wrong. It’s not supposed to be like this.” Accept it, decide how you will respond and move on.

The final mind-freeing technique is to develop a daily practice of gratitude. Your mind will offer you all the things that are wrong with your life, things you can no longer do and all the things you don’t have that you want. Consciously shift your thinking to all that is right in your life, the things you can do and the things you have. Before you know it, your mind will be free enough to begin with gratitude without you directing it to.

Free your mind of the negativity bias and see how not only your relationships, but also your life, will transform.

Kim Olver, LCPC, NCC, BCC is the author of the award-winning Choosing Me Now, Secrets of Happy Couples and the forthcoming title, Mental Freedom, which expands on the Free Your Mind concepts. She is a board certified relationship coach, helping people learn the skills to nurture and strengthen their relationships. She is the founder and president of Olver International (www.OlverInternational.com), formerly Coaching for Excellence and has a monthly Writers Group to help others write, publish and market their books. 

Facebook: www.facebook.com/olverinternational
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To New Beginnings!

 

By: Marcia King-Gamble

www.lovemarcia.com

You’ve probably heard me say this before. At the beginning of a new year I never make resolutions. What I do is create a vision board. The board serves as my map as the year unfolds.

There is something cathartic about looking through magazines and finding words that express the way I feel and that represent me. I get joy out of clipping out graphics and images of places that I would like to visit, hobbies that represent me, or events that I enjoy, even things I would like to learn or improve on in the coming year.

It all brings me Joy.

This 2021, my board is still a work in progress. But as I snip and cut out pictures and sayings, I find myself becoming more and more optimistic and hopeful.

For those of you who have followed me over the years, you know there is usually a theme to my board. My boards represent my life with emphasis on travel, exercise, books, wine and food.  All these things bring out the best in me. 

These themes continue this year,  but with a focus on joyful living and celebrating small moments. I am hopeful about many things this year and grateful to be here. This year, I plan on brushing up my Spanish. It’s a language that speaks to me and one I used to be fairly good at but have let go to the wayside. Spanish is considered the language of love because its passionate and sensual.  And shouldn’t we be passionate about everything we do? Without passion life wouldn’t be a whole lot of fun. 

 I am hopeful about many things this year. I am hopeful to put more passion back into my life. I am hopeful that our country can heal, and that people can get back to work and living their best lives. I am hopeful that we can travel again and see family and friends. 

More importantly, I am hopeful that we have used this time to reflect and get our priorities in order. Having gone through an experience like no other, we should realize that we are really a small speck in a vast universe. We rent space on this earth. We own nothing. And without health we have nothing.

That said, we should be living our most meaningful lives, no matter how insignificant we think that life might be.

 Writing to me represents living my best life. 

To that end, I celebrated 2021 with a brand-new release. 

Here is an excerpt from By Golly:

Elle felt and sensed Miles’ presence behind her. She could smell that citrusy scent and feel his warm breath on the nape of her neck. Even though her heart thudded, she remained resolute. Miles’s hands caressed the back of her arms before he turned her to face him. Now she didn’t know what to believe.

“Carrie’s divorcing her husband. When she found out Justin was in trouble, she reached out to me, pitching the idea of getting back together, and providing a united front for the sake of our son.”

Elle spun around facing him. “You must have given it some consideration. You broke up with me.”

“I did not. I simply asked for time and space. We were both doing a lot of traveling. I was dealing with a troubled child and an ex pressuring me. Plus, we were in the middle of negotiating an international deal. There was a lot on my plate. I needed to work through some things.”

“Can we talk about Justin?” Elle said, switching the direction of the conversation. Miles had put her through a lot of misery. Had he had this discussion with her up front, perhaps she would be a lot more forgiving.

“Sure. We might as well sit. I have the feeling this might take a while. Taking her by the hand, Miles guided her back toward the couch. “What did my son have to say for himself?”

“Well, it seems he thinks you sent him off to school to get rid of him.”

“Oh, please. Justin knows better. We talked about it. He knows why I sent him to the academy. Couldn’t have a housekeeper bringing up my son.”

“Apparently, you didn’t do a very good job of explaining. He seems to think he’ll be going to live with you and your ex, and you’ll be one big happy family.”

“He’s wrong about that.”

“I did get him to promise me he’d go to therapy.”

Miles’ head snapped back and forth. Hie squinted at her.  “And why would my son need therapy?”

“Because he has problems you and I can’t fix. He’s hurting and doesn’t understanding why you and his mom divorced.” She held up a finger before Miles could interrupt. “It’s quid pro quo. Justin stops getting high and goes to therapy. You don’t send him to rehab. Now all you have to do is talk the principal, head of school, or whatever they’re called these days, into not expelling Justin.”

Miles reached over and took her cheeks between his palms and kissed her on the lips. “If that’s all it would take, you’re a miracle worker.” Before she knew it, he deepened the kiss, and those too familiar feelings came flooding back and she was winding her arms around his neck, relishing his warmth and drowning in the citrusy smell of him.

A knock on the door, drew them apart before things ricocheted out of control and she forgot she was still mad at him.

“What Lousy timing,” Miles muttered, heading off to answer the door.

You can pick up a copy of By Golly here:

 https://www.amazon.com/Golly-H-Caldwell-ebook/dp/B08R5GN5B8/ref

Wishing you a special Feliz año nuevo!  

Live a passionate life and make it a good one! 

Please sign up for my newsletter here:

http://www.lovemarcia.com/guestbook.htm

   About Marcia King-Gamble

Romance writer, Marcia King-Gamble originally hails from a sunny Caribbean island where the sky and ocean are the same mesmerizing shade of blue. This travel industry executive and current world traveler has spent most of life in the United States. A National Bestselling author, Marcia has penned over 34 books and 8 novellas. Her free time is spent at the gym, traveling to exotic locales, and caring for her animal family.

Visit Marcia at www.lovemarcia.com or “friend” her on Facebook: http://bit.ly/1MlnrIS

Be sure to join her mailing list.

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On the brighter side of things!

 

By: Marcia King-Gamble

www.lovemarcia.com

It’s almost the end of the year and I’m hoping it ends on a positive note. While 2020 has had its challenges, think of it as a year to reflect and be grateful. Yes, I ‘ve been accused of making lemonade out of limes, but that’s just my personality. But wouldn’t you rather me be sweet than tart?

Yes, I know jobs were lost, and that’s never a good thing, but it did give many time to reflect on what they really wanted out of life. Limping into a job with a sigh and a groan is never good. Jobs should pay the bills but also be fun. And while a job search is never easy, this is, or was, the opportunity to find that job of your dreams.

I know, easy to say that when bills remain unpaid, but still…one door closes and a better one opens. That’s the believer in me speaking. I say rather than viewing lockdown and this time of isolation with negativity, we should look at it as a time to catch up on all those chores and hobbies we keep putting off.  There are closets to clean and treasures to be found while cleaning and sorting. There are friends to email, phone, and in general reconnect with.

What about that foreign language you’ve been dying to speak? Maybe it’s time to learn that language, and all from the relative safety of your own home. There's that sweater waiting to be completed. You can finally get it done. That elderly neighbor you meant to reach out to, offer to do their shopping, and maybe pay it forward by adding a treat to their grocery list.

 For those of you with children, I can't think of  a better time to bond, than over online learning, or one of those interactive games they like to play.

Speaking of learning, let me tell you what I’ve learned during this last several months:

I’ve learned that I am more than good on my own

That time to reflect is a good thing

That even when things get bad there is a silver lining

That I’m far more resilient than I might appear

There aren’t enough hours in the day to accomplish everything I want to do

That true friends are worth keeping and others I should lose

That I am never too old to learn a new skill

That reading can feed and nourish the soul

I learned that while bad things can happen to good people, good things also happen to good people

That old manuscripts can be dusted off and repurposed

And finally, positivity can brighten a person’s day and go a long way

 That  said, despite this year’s ups and downs there’s so much to be grateful for.  The earth has had time to heal and dolphins were seen in places never seen in a long time or before. Families and friends found creative ways to connect, and we were forced to step out of our comfort zone and  into the world of technology. Think of this as broadening your world view and learning something new. Life should be about learning and evolving and not about remaining stagnant.

As the holidays approach don’t think of this year as being without family, think of it as doing something different and celebrating in a brand new and meaningful way. Put some thought into gifting, or better yet, give to a charity or people who really need help this year. It doesn’t have to be money, you can volunteer your help, safely. Just remember to wear that mask.

 Give what you can and give graciously!

Please look out for my holiday release, titled By Golly on Amazon soon.  It's a stand alone novella, about the H.E. Caldwell Department store. Some of your favorites are having issues. Will the holiday season work its magic and bring them back together?

Happy Hanukkah! Merry Christmas! Here’s to a New Year of good cheer!

Make 2021 your best year yet. The seeds you planted will come to full bloom!

Be well and take good care!

About Marcia King-Gamble

Romance writer, Marcia King-Gamble originally hails from a sunny Caribbean island where the sky and ocean are the same mesmerizing shade of blue. This travel industry executive and current world traveler has spent most of life in the United States. A National Bestselling author, Marcia has penned over 34 books and 8 novellas. Her free time is spent at the gym, traveling to exotic locales when she can, and caring for her animal family who keep her sane.

Visit Marcia at www.lovemarcia.com or “friend” her on Facebook: http://bit.ly/1MlnrIS

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