A New Approach to an Old Manuscript

Hi, I’m Judith Ashley, author of The Sacred Women’s Circle series, soul nourishing romantic women’s fiction that honors pagan spiritual practices. My stories show you what life could be like if you had a place like The Circle where you are unconditionally accepted, supported and loved. And where, with this support, you do overcome obstacles and find your happily-ever-after.

I’ve 8 fiction books published (The Sacred Women’s Circle (7) and The Visions quartet (Visions of Happiness with 3 more down the pike). The women and men in my stories all have the kind of every-day problems many of us have. What I show in these books is how ordinary people can overcome challenges with the unconditional acceptance, support and love of a group of like-minded women and their own personal spiritual practice.

Writing these books was cathartic and healing for me. I was able to use my personal knowledge of and in some cases my personal experiences to illustrate issues such as domestic violence, single parenting, death of a spouse, cancer, self-doubt, self-criticism – well, you get the message.

How, when we are burdened with doubts and fears, can we move forward in our lives, take that chance, take that leap and for our best life, our happily-ever-after?

Sharing emotions, dreams, fears was easy when writing fictional characters. However, I have a background in Social Services and while not a social worker or therapist, I have over 50 years working in the fields of domestic and international adoption, child protective services, geriatric care management, professional guardianship, protection of vulnerable adults and I was a parenting grandmother. Lots of life experiences.

I drew heavily on my training and certification under Dr.William Glasser and have been on the senior teaching faculty of The William Glasser Institute International and am an active instructor in The Glasser Institute for Choice Theory – US. If you are familiar with Dr. Glasser’s work, you’ll see it embedded in the stories I write.

And if you aren’t familiar with his work, let me introduce you!

In addition to writing fiction, I also write non-fiction. Staying Sane in a Crazy World gives readers a blue-print to create their own Personal Staying Sane Plan.

Currently I’m getting ready to do a total rewrite of my second non-fiction, Yes, You Can Create A Life You Love. In 1979 and 1980 I created a training Love, Worth, Fun, Freedom: How To Get More. I saw small miracles happen in the lives of people who took my course through a local community college.

In 1999, I joined Wild Women Writers with the idea to turn the course into a “self-help” book. I got side-tracked and wrote my fiction books instead.

And now I’m back!

I’ve actually written the book but when one of my “first readers” commented that while the book was good, I sounded like I was giving a lecture that stopped me in my tracks. I’ve spent several months pondering how to move forward. I’ve ideas which include starting from the beginning. In other words, put the original material aside and write. When it comes to the exercises, they will be basically the same but the illustrations will be new.

Scary?

Ohhh yesss!

Why? Because that “lecture voice” while drawn from my knowledge and experiences is distance from the real me. What I am leaping off the proverbial cliff to do, is write this book from my heart, from the same place I write my fiction.

My goal is to have Yes You Can Create A Life You Love published by the end of the year. Just typing that gives me an uncomfortable feeling. Revealing my imperfect self in real life, in real time is daunting for me. And I know my book will be better for my having stepped forth and moved through “daunting”.

In the meantime, do take a look at Staying Sane. Regardless of your politics, you will find creating your Personal Staying Sane Plan a boon to get you through these coming months if not years.

You can find all of my books at your favorite e-book vendor. Be sure to ask your local library if you’d prefer to read my books through that resource.

Learn more about Judith's The Sacred Women’s Circle series at JudithAshleyRomance.com

Follow Judith on Twitter: JudithAshley19

Check out Judith’s Windtree Press author page.

You can also find Judith on FB! 

© 2020 Judith Ashley

Head or Heart?

By: Marcia King-Gamble

www.lovemarcia.com

When asked what I do, and people learn that I’m a romance writer, eyebrows shoot sky high. Sometimes there’s even a visible smirk. Translation, this woman’s head is in the clouds; she’s not reality based. The irony of it is, I consider myself  a romantic realist. Gotta love with  both your head and heart.

“There’s no such thing,” many say, shaking the very same head they should be using  to help make sound decisions.

Those who know me would agree that I am very realistic in  matters of  the heart. I believe in loving with both head and heart. Without using both, you’re heading for disaster.  Agreed, I'm no pushover and can be somewhat skeptical when actions don't match words, but that’s not because I don’t believe in love. I do, I do. Love to me is an extension of  friendship. The qualities I look for in  a friend, are the same I look for in  a lover, with one exception;  my heart needs to beat  just a smidgen faster, and I need to feel a tingle somewhere down south. The below picture,  is my friend who was torn with making a decision. Thankfully she used both head and heart. Today they are still married. 

The cautious side of me won't rush into a situation without knowing and examining all the facts. A man who abandoned a wife with a nursing baby, I would think long and hard about thrice. If you’re coming on strong with the platitudes, I’m not falling for that stuff.  I come from the school of show me, don’t tell me, and I don't believe love conquers all. I am also a firm believer when a situation is unhealthy or broken; a wise person takes a step back. You might even make the tough decision to walk away. That is not to say with some effort, and space, the issues can’t be resolved, and the breakage mended. I do strongly believe that accepting, unacceptable behavior is teaching people how to treat you.

Years ago, I was an online moderator for eHarmony; the online advice board,  not the dating site.  Participants could post globally and anonymously. Frequently, it became a battle of the sexes. I learned Men are indeed from Mars and Women from Venus. After many years, the website was shut down for a number of reasons. Through a stroke of fate, I ended up writing for Michael Fiore’s Digital Romance Inc., even penning a column with a male friend, titled, "He Said, She said."  As to be expected, his views and opinions were often the direct opposite of mine.   

 That stint lasted many years, and out of reading and responding to so many lovelorn stories, my current Spicy Sunday column was born. For those readers unfamiliar with this online column, it’s posted on my Facebook page on Sundays. https://www.facebook.com/MarciaKingGamble

Once a week, I post a different romantic challenge and ask my readers how they would handle it. Many of the questions are sent to me anonymously; though some I have experienced personally. At times it does become The Battle of the Sexes, but I have learned and grown from the myriad of opinions and so have my readers.

In any case, switching it up, between fiction and nonfiction has benefited my writing immensely, and made me a better romance writer. When I write male dialogue now, I have to think long and hard. Would my hero say that? Would they really react that way? A woman might, a man never.  My male characters are better developed. He certainly isn’t thinking about his heart beating hard when he meets my heroine the first time. Other parts of his anatomy are throbbing.

  

In my personal life, I’ve learned not to over think male comments. Words I might consider a blow off, I now understand as the male way. This is not to say that I’m confused if the language is demeaning or abusive. I don’t excuse abuse. I run away.

Some of the male/female communication issues may have to do with girl babies developing speech and language faster.  This continues through adulthood. Men, on the other hand, tend to be literal beings. They get to the point with no fluffing. Diplomacy is usually not the male way.  So when my long winded question receives a one word answer, rather than sulk, I shrug and keep it moving.  

What writing about relationships has done for me is made me a better partner.  I am able to meld what I’ve learned from writing advice columns into writing my fiction books. And in my personal life, I look for a person who has all the attributes of a best friend, but still makes my breath hitch. You should too.     

About Marcia King-Gamble

Romance writer, Marcia King-Gamble originally hails from a sunny Caribbean island where the sky and ocean are the same mesmerizing shade of blue. This travel industry executive and current world traveler has spent most of life in the United States. A National Bestselling author, Marcia has penned over 34 books and 8 novellas. Her free time is spent at the gym, traveling to exotic locales, and caring for her animal family.

Visit Marcia at www.lovemarcia.com or “friend” her on Facebook:http://bit.ly/1MlnrIS

Be sure to join her mailing list.