Three Things I Do Well and A Bit More

 Hi, I’m Judith Ashley, author of The Sacred Women’s Circle series, soul nourishing romantic women’s fiction with light paranormal elements. My stories show you what life could be like if you had a place like The Circle where you are unconditionally accepted, supported and loved. And where, with this support, you make choices to overcome the darkest nights of your life to choose love and light.

One might think this would be an easy-peasy topic but for someone who was raised with the message it was WRONG to toot one’s own horn, it can be a struggle. So I asked my Very Best Friend in the Whole World what she thought were three things I do well.

Well, she didn’t want to tell me three things I DO well. So instead she told me three things/traits she thinks I have in abundance.

Her list:

Loyal
    Since I consider loyalty a non-negotiable trait in my close relationships, I totally agree with her on this one.

Honest
     I vividly remember the few times I lied in my younger years. I got caught. Needless to say, the embarrassment was worse than the consequences. It just isn’t worth it. Having said that there are times when I emphasize something beyond what’s the actual fact in my life. I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve done that.

Gratitude
     I look for the best, the brightside, the upside. For the most part, I give people the benefit of the doubt. I’ve found that a Gratitude practice helps me deal with those days that are more challenging.

I don’t disagree with that list and am not surprised to Not See patience. I may not be totally lacking in that trait however I do not have anywhere near an abundance of it. In fact, right now as in today, it is in Short Supply. Does it help? No, being impatient doesn’t help nor does it speed things up. The saying “Accepting Life on Life’s Terms” is a daily challenge for me.

I have worked diligently over the decades to be able to toot my own horn so here are mine.

1.     Planning, Organizing and Implementing
Disorganization is painful especially now when a health issue or two prevents me from getting in and getting it done. The sense of accomplishment at the end of a project is a euphoric high for me.

2.     Seeing the other side of an issue
This ‘skill’, while it serves me well, also gets me into a bit of trouble at times because it is extremely easy for me to play “Devil’s Advocate” and sometimes my friends just want to vent.

3.     Regularly checking in with myself on my efforts to live by my Core Values/Beliefs.
There have been times in my life when I’m not as ‘on purpose’ with this one and it shows up in all phases of my life including a good night’s sleep. My Core Beliefs are about living a mindful life and include such things as

“We each have our own path and have the right to traverse it   without righteous interference from others.”

“There is enough ~ I have enough and always will.”

Whether it is the list my friend made or my own, when I look at one accomplishment that brings me great joy – my writing – I can see these traits and deeds in each of the stories. A Sacred Women’s Circle is founded on the traits of loyalty, honesty, abundance (enough) and acceptance (the other side of an issue) among others.

How do you organize your life?
How do you deal with difficult situations?
Where do you rely on your Core Values to see you through a tough time?

You can find my books at your favorite e-book vendor as well as through my website www.JudithAshley.net and Windtree Press. Print books are available at Jan’s Paperbacks in Beaverton, OR and Arte Soleil in Portland, OR. Get the addresses from my website. And be sure to ask your library if you’d prefer to read my books through that resource.

Learn more about Judith's The Sacred Women’s Circle series at JudithAshley.net

Check out Judith’s Windtree Press author page.

You can also find Judith on FB! 

© 2024 Judith Ashley

Cherishing Relationships

 

There is nothing like a pandemic to teach us the importance of human connection. All of a sudden we were restricted from gathering, let alone touching, other humans outside of our immediate household. In some areas, they were called Pods. That term reminded me of a sci-fi movie. Which is what the entire past year and half has felt like.

While we had to maintain distance from friends and family, lots of us went online and forged new online friendships and relationships. I did a lot of that as a new author, and formed online relationships with people that morphed into chats, online Messenger calls on Facebook, or even Zoom, which became a meeting staple this past year.

But my heart went out to the younger folks and to those who had to figure out ways to meet and date people during a pandemic. My daughter got caught up in it, and she made friends online or met new ones through her video gaming programs. While this was good to stay connected to other humans, nothing takes the place of face-to-face contact.

Some relationships that were strained before covid fell apart as a result of forced proximity. Others became closer to their partner or spouse. I was fortunate to experience the latter, though it took some work. The cool thing was, I learned about myself in the process. If an argument popped up I had to decide: Is it worth arguing about? Who cares if I forgot to buy coffee creamer or whose turn it was to pick up doggie doodoo? 

As a romance writer, one of the tropes we write about is forced proximity, where people are in situations where they're forced to stay together for a while. A common one in romance, for example, is a blizzard or snowstorm, which I see a lot in northern latitude stories.

I learned even more about my spouse, despite being together for decades. I got to know him as a changed, older person. In my second novel I wrote about self forgiveness, forgiving others, and redemption after screw-ups...so I paid closer attention to the interactions I had with my spouse. How often was I willing to forgive him when things went south? Or forgive myself for saying or doing something stupid?

If there's anything this past year and a half has taught me, it's patience and flexibility, where family and spouse relationships are concerned. I'm a better listener now. I'm more patient with long explanations. When I ask my spouse what time it is and he tells me how the watch was made, I don't come unglued anymore. Instead I listen, fully aware that he has no one else to use as a sounding board when he tries to figure out the wiring harness for our car and boat trailer. He processes out loud and I've learned to ask questions to help him. I never did this before, I was too impatient.

Now? I make a habit of saying I'm grateful for something each day when I wake up. At this point in life I'm just grateful I'm waking up! I value my friends and family more now than ever before. But the biggest thing I've learned from all this: Never again will I take anyone or anything for granted. Especially toilet paper LOL.

Mostly, I'm grateful for the person I chose to share my life with, lo those many years ago. We have a long shared history. 

And that is priceless.

I'm thrilled to announce my second novel, Alaska Inferno is now on Amazon. It released May 31st and so far I'm thrilled to say the reviews are wonderful.

 GET INFERNO HERE!

Watch the book trailer for ALASKA INFERNO!

LoLo Paige was a wildland firefighter for the U.S. Forest Service and the U.S. Bureau of Land Management, Alaska Fire Service. She's an award-winning author of two novels in the Blazing Hearts Wildfire Series, Alaska Spark and soon to be released Alaska Inferno. Her stories contain edge-of-the-seat, invigorating action, strong-willed female firefighters and romantic suspense. LoLo and her husband divide their time between their oceanside beach house in Kachemak Bay, Alaska and sunny Arizona. 

What readers have said about LoLo's books... 

"I could almost feel the heat of the wildfires that surrounded the crews as they staved off threats..."

"The men are wild and yummy and the women are strong and lovingly feisty. The plot moves along at a fast pace..."

Website / Bookbub / Goodreads / Facebook / Instagram / Twitter / Pinterest

 

A funny thing happened on the way to publication…

A funny thing happened on the way to publication. That’s this month’s writing prompt. Well…for the life of me, I can’t think of a single “funny” thing that happened. Perturbing, frustrating, heart-breaking, humiliating, wonderful, unbelievable, holy-cow-I’m-gonna-explode-I’m-so-happy—now those words come to mind when I look over my writing journey.

For me, the main message that emerges when I think back is that if you want to be a writer, you better be resilient, cautious, adventurous, selectively inquisitive, and patient. And perhaps, most important of all, don’t expect your writing experience to be like anyone else’s.

Before my first book was published, I tried for years (seemed like eons) to find an agent. I got enough “I just don’t feel a connection to your story” letters to wallpaper my entire house—twice. But then, I finally received a rejection where the agent told me, “You don’t need an agent for this story. Submit to some of the small presses and go ebook with it.” Bless her generous advice-giving heart! I submitted the book to The Wild Rose Press and after a bazillion revisions under the tutelage of a wonderfully talented and patient editor, they published it! Beyond a Highland Whisper was born.

Then I won RT Book Review’s Writing with the Stars contest and published Eternity’s Mark with Kensington. That process was a rollercoaster ride of gut-wrenching highs and lows. But I learned a lot.

Then I heard about Loveswept, a digital only imprint for Penguin Random House. I’m an Outlander fanatic aka time travel back to the Highlands addict and I had an idea for this series…so I pitched it through Loveswept’s website and they loved it! That’s how my four book Highland Hearts series found a home.

So far, I’ve worked with three publishers: one small press, and two traditional houses. I still don’t have an agent. After being laid off from my day job of twenty-nine years, I’m toying with some other writerly options to pursue.

I guess what I’ve really discovered along this bumpy road is that everyone’s writing path is different and the only time that’s a bad thing is when you compare your path to someone else’s and get upset because your results aren’t the same. Stay focused on your path. It’ll keep the “nauseating crazies” away and let you write the stories that can only be written by you.

Maeve’s Bio:

No one has the power to shatter your dreams unless you give it to them. That’s Maeve Greyson’s mantra. She and her hubby of nearly thirty-eight years were stationed all over while in the U.S. Air Force before returning to their five-acre wood in rural Kentucky where she writes about her beloved Highlanders and the sassy women who tame them.

Find out more about Maeve at these places on the web:

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