Hi, I’m Judith Ashley, author
of The Sacred Women’s Circle series, soul nourishing romantic women’s fiction
that honors pagan spiritual practices. My stories show you what life could be
like if you had a place like The Circle where you are unconditionally accepted,
supported and loved. And where, with this support, you do overcome obstacles and
find your happily-ever-after.
The Blog Queens work out the topics and themes for the
next year several months in advance thus they (we) may pick a topic/theme that
is a bit more challenging to write about in the moment.
July’s theme “The villain you love to hate” is
appropriate if one wants to write about fictional characters however, as I
write this post (06/25/2020) hate-filled emotions, hate-filled language and
hateful actions abound. And from my perspective, and I do see villains, hating
them does not serve me, their victims or society at large.
While there is a belief that people are born evil, in my
50+ years of working in the social services and educational fields, that has
not been my experience.
My experience is that when we are fearful of losing
physical life, status in the hierarchy of our family, community, employment,
control of our situation or others (this is a partial list), we have a choice
to make. We can hang on to the fear and use it to justify our actions or we can
stop, assess what’s really going on in terms of our fear and look for a
solution that benefits us all.
I’ve no statistics to back up this next statement – only
personal and professional experiences.
All
anger is fear-based and it comes from something we want to gain or retain that
is at risk.
Take a moment and the next time you feel frustrated,
upset, irritated or even angry or in a rage, STOP. What is it you fear? It could be you are being physically
threatened. It also could be that your view of yourself and even your place in
the world is being threatened.
Do you know why your ancestors immigrate to North
America? My maternal ancestors came on the second boat from England. They
sought religious freedom. By DNA I’ve more non-England ancestry so my ancestors
most likely invaded England in 1066. I’ve also some Irish as a great
grandmother emigrated from Ireland in the late 1800’s. I thought I was mainly
Danish on my paternal side of the family. But my DNA said “No, you are mainly
Swedish!” Looks like 500 or so years ago there was a major influx of Swedes into
Denmark.
It is difficult to develop wise-compassion if you don’t
know the whole story. Every real life villain I’ve known or read about had
choices to make. Their choices were rooted in I’m More Important/What I want is
More Important Than You. And I must
dehumanize/demonize you in order to get or keep what I want and deserve to
have.
Since early times, before Judao/Christian/Muslim
religions, collaboration, the good of the whole, was how we human beings worked
together and how we worked with the environment in which we lived. Of course
our survival depended on us using our talents, skills and community to best
advantage.
What changed?
Weaponry that had been used to kill the meat for the next
meal was turned against other humans. Life was no longer revered as it was in
the olden times. Collaboration was turned to joining forces to better defeat
another group. The concept of creating a community structure that benefited
everyone was lost.
If you are
interested in being in more control of your life, I encourage you to take a
look at my book Staying Sane in a Crazy
World or check out the Glasser Institute for Choice Theory (GIFCT) website
for resources.
It will take some effort on your part including being honest
with yourself (not always easy), but you can be in control of your life, your
feelings and find a hate-free (which means fear-free) path for yourself.
You can
find all of my books at your favorite e-book vendor. Be sure to ask your local
library if you’d prefer to read my books through that resource.
© 2020 Judith Ashley
