Kids and Animals Always Bring a Smile by Paty Jager

This  month is "funny story" month. I've been trying to think of a funny story. Not that I don't laugh every day, either from something my hubby or grandkids say or the antics of the dogs, but coming up with a story... That's harder.

I'm trying to remember things my grandchildren have said. One granddaughter told my mother-in-law that she can come to her wedding...if she's still alive. ;)

2 youngest grandsons and Santa

A 4 year-old-grandson told his mom, he was going to marry Oma (his great grandmother) when he's old enough. And the next time she visited, he helped her get in and out of the car, carried her walker as she had help going up stairs, and then set the walker next to her chair and got her something to drink. She told him he'd make a good husband, and he smiled from ear to ear.

The soon to be three-year-old was helping Oma. She gave him a thumb's up for a good job. He couldn't get his thumb up and held up his pointer finger.

We have a dog who growls all the way to his kennel every night. He's just like a kid complaining about having to go to bed. And when my hubby closes the door on the kennel, he complains even louder!

George

George, our burro, is an equine Houdini.When we first acquired George, we were told he couldn't be kept in any fence. We just thought it was because the people who had him didn't have very good fences. We put him in the corral when we first brought him home, not knowing what the horses would think of him. The next morning, he was in with the horses and I couldn't figure out how he got out of the corral. All the gates were still locked and I didn't see any place that I thought was large enough for him to get out. Turned out, he would lay down and wiggle under the bottom rail. Another time I had him in a different corral, the next morning he was outside the corral eating grass. I looked everywhere and couldn't figure out how he got out, and then I found a bit of his hair between two rails that were just a bit wider than the rest.

My husband has always liked to shock people by saying or doing something off the wall. There were several years when we hosted a Christmas party with several other couples and invited all the other couples we all knew. There would be close to seventy-five people present.  It was an adult only Christmas party.  One year, my husband started laughing as time was getting closer to the event. When I asked him what he was laughing about (he does this all the time, will start laughing or chuckling and then tells me he thought of  a joke to play on someone) an idea had come to him for the party.

I did my part. Made his costume, or what little there was, and I was in charge of changing the music on the tape player. Yes, it was that far back! LOL

The night of the party, he went and changed, stuck his head in the door, and I started his requested music.  Ray Stevens "The Streak." Hubby came running into the hall we'd rented, dribbling a basketball and wearing a pair of speedos with a penis, I'd made from pantyhose, hanging from the front. He made four loops around the hall and ran out. Everyone in the building was bent over laughing. Whenever there is a gathering of friends that night is brought up!

Paty Jager is an award-winning author of 43 novels, 8 novellas, and numerous anthologies of murder mystery and western romance. All her work has Western or Native American elements in them along with hints of humor and engaging characters. Paty and her husband raise alfalfa hay in rural eastern Oregon. Riding horses and battling rattlesnakes, she not only writes the western lifestyle, she lives it.

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The Seven Year Switch

Since we’re celebrating the seven year anniversary of the Romancing the Genres blog in May, I thought I’d get in early and write an abridged or smooshed account of the last seven years of my life.

You could say the last seven years of my life have been pretty eventful. So much so, I can hardly remember what my day-to-day life was like seven years ago.

Baby steps

Back in 2011, I was a pregnant lady, getting ready for the birth of my second child, with a gorgeous little two-year-old boy also running around my ankles. I was also working part-time in a corporate communications role that meant commuting to the city, plus juggling home and work life in a way that didn’t always come easily.

Fast forward a few months and I found myself at home full-time on maternity leave, with two little boys under three years of age. Then I was literally juggling, with baby in one arm and toddler in the other, changing two sets of nappies (diapers) trying to remember if I’d had a shower that day or whether I had remembered to make lunch. One day I forgot how to buckle the baby into his car seat. In short, I’d just about lost my mind.

It wasn’t just mummy brain – I was totally exhausted. After a few visits to the doctor I found out my thyroid was playing up. I have Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis.  It’s an autoimmune disease that affects metabolism, how fast or slow your body runs, body weight, concentration and alertness. I already had Coeliac/Celiac disease, so I understood about needing to manage your stress levels, diet and overall health to keep an autoimmune condition under control.

Once I started taking some medication, the fog lifted from my head and I began to think clearly again. Hooray!

The write life

Around the time my little one was 18 months old, I went back to work two days a week and started to think about whether I wanted to stick with that job long-term. In the back of my mind, I’d always harboured a desire to write a novel. I remember I’d just joined Twitter and was starting to read romance novels on my commute, when I saw a tweet about the So You Think You Can Write contest. I don’t know exactly what spurred me on to give it a try, but it kick-started my fiction writing.

I wrote and wrote. And wrote some more! At lunchtime, at night, during my son’s afternoon nap on the days I was at home. I taught myself to write a book based on the super helpful tips and advice from authors in the Harlequin Community and shared my work with a fabulous group of writers at much the same stage as me.

I managed to write a 60,000 word manuscript in a couple of months, along with a synopsis and pitch. In retrospect it wasn’t a great attempt at a novel, but I did learn heaps. I may not have got anywhere in the contest, but I was hooked on the writing life.

An unfolding saga

Since 2014, I figure I’ve written three complete manuscripts, two complete short stories and many more partials. I’ve entered many more writing contests and even won the We Heart New Talent contest. That resulted in my debut novel, Girl on aPlane, being published by HarperCollins UK. The book was also translated and released in the Czech Republic as Letuska last year, something so wildly unimaginable to me just a few years ago, I did pinch myself. I have actual fans in Prague!

In 2016 I made the decision to quit my corporate job, and concentrate on writing. So far it’s paying off...okay, not financially yet! But in other ways, my writing is going well and I’m not so tired from being pushed and pulled in all directions. I’ve picked up a few freelance business writing jobs too.

I can’t quite believe my two babies are now school boys, but it’s great to have work with the flexibility to spend more time with them. I’m home to walk my boys to school and back, cook proper meals and read to them every night. Oh, I also spend a bit more time with that man I married!

Now I’m looking to the future, with a plan for a hybrid writing career combining traditionally published and self-published work. I’m working on another novella that I hope to finish writing soon, plus thinking about indie publishing some print versions.

My life has done a grand switcheroo over the last seven years and I’m thankful that I had the courage to give it a go. My health might not be 100% perfect, but I'm going well, managing not to overdo my work hours, and still progressing with my writing. 

What about you – have you had health challenges or life-changing circumstances in the last few years? How has your life changed, for better or worse?

About Cassandra O'Leary

**Winner of the global We Heart New Talent contest. Nominated for Best New Author in the 2016 AusRomToday Reader's Choice Awards for excellence in Australian romance fiction.**

Cassandra O'Leary is a romance and women's fiction author from Melbourne, Australia, drinking coffee, dreaming of Italy and Spain, and raising two mini ninjas with her superhero husband.

In 2015, Cassandra won the global We Heart New Talent contest run by Avon Books/HarperCollins UK and her debut romantic comedy novel, Girl on a Plane, was released in July 2016. She was also a 2015 finalist in the Lone Star contest, Northwest Houston Romance Writers of America, and a 2014 finalist, First Kiss contest, Romance Writers of Australia.

Read more at cassandraolearyauthor.com 

Steamy Christmases in Australia

I’m dreaming of a white Christmas…

Well, one day I might see a white Christmas if I travel to the other side of the planet during the holiday season. But as an Aussie, my experience of Christmas is quite different to many of my American and European friends and readers.

I’ve been thinking about Christmas in Australia lately, since I’ve just written and released a Christmas-themed novella set in my home city of Melbourne, Australia. There’s shopping and mayhem, plus a little romance. Also, steamy weather changing from thunderstorms with lightning to hot sunny days over 35 degrees C (95 degrees F), maximum strength sunscreen and hat required. This is Christmas to me!

As I write, we’re experiencing a spring heatwave with temperatures over 30 degrees C already. I can tell you I don’t feel like doing any Christmas shopping. Or writing. I must admit my brain turns to mush in the heat, so it's just as well the holidays are coming.

Christmas as an Aussie kid

Leading up to Christmas, we often made our own paper chains and Advent calendars at school and then decorated our lounge room with them. My favourite decoration was the pretty angel doll that went on the top of the tree. It was always exciting to decorate our Christmas tree in December. When I was younger we had a massive pine tree in our backyard, so Mum and Dad would cut off a good sized branch to be our tree. The whole house would be filled with the scent of fresh pine.

Our family usually went to Catholic Mass on Christmas Eve. I’ll admit it wasn’t much fun – too hot, too crowded and too many hymns and long-winded readings were boring to a child. But some years we went to the children’s service when kids would dress up as Bible characters like shepherds and angels, and that was fun.

As a kid, we’d often have a barbeque lunch for Christmas dinner or Boxing Day, when we’d see a few more members of our extended family. Lots of sausages (snags) in bread, hamburgers and salads, seafood platters and cold ham.

My favourite Christmas desserts were always Pavlova (fruit and cream-topped meringue dessert) and cheesecake, maybe ice-cream too. I never did care for hot Christmas pudding or fruit cake.

Despite being from England, my mother doesn’t like the traditional English hot dinner in the Australian heat. I don’t blame her – I wouldn’t want to cook roast beef and Yorkshire pudding in stifling hot weather with no air-conditioning either. My cousins and I would sometimes play a backyard cricket match after lunch. None of us were very good players but it was still fun.

Later, after Christmas dinner, we’d relax and eat leftovers, play with our new toys and then go to the beach over the next few days. I loved when we’d go to our family holiday house on the Mornington Peninsula, a gorgeous spot close to the ocean beach. Since it was also school holidays, we’d sometimes stay there for a week or two.

Christmas Eve – making our own traditions

As an adult, my boyfriend (now husband) and I started our own tradition of hosting Christmas Eve parties at home. We have lots of food and wine, catch up with old friends and family and the kids run around outside until late. The Christmas Carols in the Domain (a Melbourne live concert) is usually playing on TV. We do a Kris Kringle exchange of presents for all the kids. Last year we gave everyone water pistols, so they all got soaked but it was hot weather and good fun.

My two little boys love laying out their Christmas pillowcases ready for Santa Claus to come after our party winds down. We also leave out a few snacks for Santa and his reindeer near our Christmas tree. We’ve found Santa likes red wine and chocolate cake, while Rudolph prefers a carrot.

Last year my boys received BMX style bikes (still with training wheels at the time). This year it might be skateboards as well as Lego and other fun bigger kid things. Exciting! I'm sure we'll be riding and skating at the local park on Christmas day.

Getting ready for summer holidays

The kids will be on summer holidays for six long weeks from the end of December, so it will probably mean a slow-down in my writing. It will probably also be hideously hot and sticky, so I’m hoping to take off to the beach somewhere for a while.

I won’t be travelling anywhere white or snowy this year, but I’ll watch a couple of Northern Hemisphere Christmas movies and live vicariously through them…while I sip white wine or eat gelati by a beach somewhere!

What are your Christmas traditions and favourite holiday treats? I'd love to hear from you all.

Christmas novella - Heart Note

My new release is titled Heart Note: A Christmas romcom novella. It's out now at all major ebook retail sites and already has some wonderful reviews. The story is about Lily, a perfume counter manager at a major Australian department store. In the lead-up to Christmas, it's all about gift sets, keeping the grumpy customers happy and maybe...finding romance and catching some criminals!

Blurb

A funny, romantic comedy Christmas novella, perfect for fans of Love Actually . . . from the award-winning author of Girl on a Plane.

Love is like a fine perfume. The top note draws you in, an instant attraction, but the Heart Note is the true essence. Like true love – a great perfume should be a woman’s perfect match.

At least, that’s what perfume counter manager, Lily Lucas, tells her customers in one of Australia’s largest department stores. 

It’s almost Christmas, the store is bedecked with baubles and Lily has about eleventy billion gifts to wrap and sell. She and her team of spritzer chicks are glamorous, professional and hoping they don’t have to wear the hideous red onesies and reindeer antlers the store manager has in mind.

The high point of Lily’s work life is Christos Cyriakos, ex-cop, security guard, possible Greek god. He's a mystery box she’d love to unwrap. But can she trust him?

All Lily wants for Christmas is to kiss Christos (and more), catch a band of thieves running amok in the store, and live happily ever after. Is that too much to wish for?

Buy links - books2read.com/HeartNote 

About Cassandra O'Leary

Winner of the global We Heart New Talent contest. Nominated for Best New Author in the 2016 AusRomToday Reader's Choice Awards for excellence in Australian romance fiction. 

Cassandra O'Leary is a romance and women's fiction author from Melbourne, Australia. You'll find her drinking coffee, dreaming of Italy and Spain, and raising two mini ninjas with her superhero husband. 

Cassandra loves romantic comedies and is having fun writing her own romcom books. Heart Note: A Christmas romcom novella, was released in November 2017. Her debut novel, Girl on a Plane, was released in July 2016. It's also being translated into Czech!

In 2015, Cassandra won the global We Heart New Talent contest run by Avon Books/HarperCollins UK. She was also a 2015 finalist in the Lone Star contest, Northwest Houston Romance Writers of America, and a 2014 finalist, First Kiss contest, Romance Writers of Australia. 

Read more or sign-up for Cassandra's newsletter at cassandraolearyauthor.com